Too Many Plotbunnies.

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"Hang on, I'm on my way I just need to..."

*ding ding ding*

"Okay, okay, I'm here, can I help you sir?"

"I was supposed to get to fuck Stéphane."

"Right, sorry sir, scheduling problems, and your name is?"

"Johnny. Johnny Weir. Listen, she promised that the next step in the story would be me fucking Stéphane."

"Look, I'm just the receptionist, sir. I just keep her calendar, I'm not actually in charge of what goes on it, so if you'd just wait over there..."

"Unbelievable!"

+++

*cough*

"Yes, how can I help you, sir?"

"It's Doctor, Doctor McKay, and, well, you could get me a meeting with her, for starters."

"I'm sorry, Dr. McKay, I'm afraid her calendar is a little full right now, why don't you..."

"Listen, I was supposed to get to save the earth. Right now, Sheppard is MAD AT ME, the idiot, because he fell for me, of course! I'm waiting for the bit of the story where it gets better, you understand?"

"... yes, of course I understand but..."

"What do you keep us hanging around here for, you idiot, then? You hear me? I'm going to write a letter to my author, yes I am, you just wait..."

"Dr. McKay..."

"... telling her that her staff in here is atrocious, are you listening to me, I could get you fired..."

"Dr. McKay!"

"What?"

"Um, the guy behind you? He's bigger than you and looks a lot more pissed."

"Oh. Oh, okay. Um. I'll just wait over there. With Ronon. Yes."

"I... er, can I help you, sirs?"

"Yeah, you can get us a meeting with her. Listen, this is fucked up, seriously. She works on this for months and months, and then she just drops us like a hot potato just when we're ready to get to the bit where it all falls into place. Jensen, you think it's fucked up too, this is ridiculous."

"I'm sorry, sirs, I just don't have any slots open right now, but if you'll wait a little while... avail yourselves of the amenities..."

"Oh fuck this."

+++

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Excuse me, my name is Elijah? Yeah, I know, 've been here for a while... listen, could we have some new magazines? I think I've read all of these. Twice."

"I'll see what I can do..."

"Also, um, I'd love to get my turn with the author, but these two over there, the ones in the uniforms? They keep having sex on the chairs, so if she could get them out of here before they, like, trash the place..."

*loud groan of 'oh, fuck, Jim'*

"Oh, see, there they go again..."

+++

"Hey."

"Hello, sir, how may I help you?"

"Hi. How are you doing? Are all these other guys bothering you? Listen, my name is Tony, Tony DiNozzo. I don't want to be rude but I was wondering about our turn... it was supposed to come a while ago. Oh, did you know you have the most gorgeous blue eyes?"

+++

"Good evening, sir, may I help you?"

"Yes, I need to speak with your author."

"I'm afraid she's busy right now, is there anything I can help you with?"

"No. Listen, my name is Special Agent Hetfield, I'm with the FBI, I have a few questions for her, it will only take a moment..."

"I'm sorry, sir..."

"It concerns Sam Winchester. WIN-CHES-TER. She'll know who he is and why he's important. I heard she might have some information about his whereabouts..."

"You know, you're really out of practice after living a normal life for the last few months."

"What...?"

"Sit down, Dean, you can wait like everybody else."

+++

"Excuse me, ma'am, I need to speak with the proprietor of this establishment straight away."

"I'm sorry, do you have an appointment, Mr..."

"Special Agent Peter Burke. I'm with the FBI."

"And is your inquiry relevant to a current case or does it have something to do with... wait, where is Neal?"