For the Icelanders on my friendslist...

Does it work? Have I done irreparable damage?

Riding, riding
riding through the wildness,
western skies ablaze with golden light.
'Round these mountains, many monsters wander
waiting for a victim in the night.
Fates, oh, lead the steps of my steed
let me make the last of my way with speed.
Fates, oh, lead the steps of my steed
let me make the last of my way with speed.

Hush now, hush now,
something here is listening,
perhaps a fox goes hungry for his prey.
Still, it sounded like someone was calling
outlaws seeking sheep to lead astray?
If I lose the sight of where I'm bound
not even my bones will ever be found.
If I lose the sight of where I'm bound
not even my bones will ever be found.

Hurry, hurry,
hurry through to nightfall
shadows lengthen, dark is falling fast.
The elven queen is readying her riders,
fey whoever sees her hunt go past.
Any price I would happily pay
if I make it home 'fore the end of day.
Any price I would happily pay
if I make it home 'fore the end of day.

English speakers, does it make sense? Is it horrendously grammatically incorrect? It's an English translation of an Icelandic folk song.