Brainstorming
Apr. 23rd, 2006 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarkaSo, this is the sort of thing that happens when I get really tired.
I was thinking about men in eyeliner. I think this thought started off somewhere in the happiness that my boyfriend sometimes wears eyeliner and is smoking hot when he does. Anyway. I was thinking about how sometimes we see celebrities do the kohl-rimmed thing - Dom Monaghan has done it, Orlando Bloom, I think and several others... and it's always ridiculously hot.
But even so, there doesn't need to be any visual evidence for it to be hot. I mean, how many stories have I read where some guy wears eyeliner and it's hot? Harry and Draco are classics, but I think I've definitely seen one with Ron and one with Percy, though I'm not sure. And you know... eyeliner+boys=hot.
Now there's a point to this.
Because after thinking about this for a bit, I started thinking about other men I'd like to see in eyeliner.
Which lead me to thinking about Simon Tam in eyeliner and damn near melting my brain.
I mean: Simon Tam = hot - Eyeliner = hot => Simon Tam + eyeliner = holy shit.
So I give you
“Please, Simon?” Kaylee is begging.
“No, Kaylee. Absolutely not.”
“Awww, Simon, come on, nobody’s going to see!”
“NO” Simon says, adamant. “Why do you want it anyway?”
“Inara gave it to me! I just want to practise so I can do it right on me!”
Simon frowns at this. “Why don’t you go practice on River?! She’s a girl! She’s more appropriate for this by default!”
“River wriggles.”
“Hunh. You tried already?”
“Yup.”
Simon sighs. “Okay. But just a bit. And you take it right off again, y’hear!”
Kaylee almost bounces with excitement. “Oh, yeah, Simon, sure thing!”
“And don’t stick that thing in my eye!” Simon says, as he reclines carefully into Kaylee’s lap, closing his eyes.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be super careful” Kaylee chirps.
Ten seconds later, she almost pokes Simon’s eye out, and it takes a bit of pleading on Kaylee’s part to get him to lie down again and sacrifice himself for the cause of helping Kaylee look good.
“I feel like a saint about to be martyred” he mumbles from Kaylee’s lap, as she sticks her tongue out and concentrates on framing his eyes in black kohl pencil.
Five minutes later, Kaylee straightens up and announces that she’s all done. Simon opens his eyes and sits up, looking a bit apprehensively in the direction of where the mirror used to be, before he remembers that River broke it a week ago.
“Right” he says “I’m not sure I want to see what I look like with makeup on anyway. Are you sure that kohl rimmed eyes are going to suit you, Kaylee?” he asks and turns around to face Kaylee who’s sitting on his bed with a funny expression on her face.
“Well” she says, sounding like she’s trying to pick her words somewhat carefully “I dunno ‘bout me, but it sure as hell looks good on you.”
“Haha, very funny, let’s all make fun of the man wearing makeup, right?” Simon replies – he’s getting better at not being easy, and he’s very proud of himself for sometimes deflecting the jokes before they have a chance of becoming embarrassing.
“No, Simon, seriously. You look good. You look so yummy I almost want to date you again.” Kaylee says that last bit so earnestly that Simon figures she must either be pulling one hell of a poker face, or she really means what she’s saying. Simon, however, doesn’t get a chance to ask her which it is, because the intercom makes an extremely loud and uncomfortable screech before Mal’s voice resounds through the ship, summoning Kaylee to the engine room pronto, and before Simon knows it, she’s gone.
Leaving him with makeup on. In his room. Shit.
He knows that there’s special soap needed to get this sort of stuff off, and wonders where in the ship he’s likely to encounter such artefacts.
Ten seconds later, after peeking cautiously out from his room to ensure his solitude, he’s making his way as fast and furtively as he can up to Inara’s shuttle. He’s just about there when Mal steps out of a corridor.
“Our good ambassador is in a snit. I advise caution, in knocking on her door” Mal says sagely, as if anybody else than he can get Inara so furious that she loses all decorum.
“Oh. Well. Thanks. This is an emergency, though.” Simon stutters out.
Mal smirks “Well, if it is an emergency…” then he peers at Simon, scrutinizing him. “Say, doctor, are you wearing kohl? Wow. Never figured you for that kind of man.”
Simon can tell that colour is rising in his cheeks and he tries to mumble something but isn’t even sure that he manages to get the word ‘Kaylee’ across.
“Hey, doc, don’t worry. Looks kinda good on you, too.” Mal says, smirking.
“What looks kind of good?” Zoe asks, coming out of the corridor behind Mal.
“Oh, nuthin. The doc is wearin’ eyeliner, ‘sall.”
Simon turns around to face Inara’s shuttle, but he can feel Zoe’s weighty gaze on his back. “Eyeliner? This I’ve got to see” says a familiar voice – the one that Simon least wanted to hear right now – from down below, and Jayne lopes up the stairs, eager to take a look at Simon’s latest embarrassment.
Simon is getting desperate. He’s knocking as politely as he can on Inara’s door, but she must think he’s Mal, come back to annoy her some more, because she’s not answering it.
“Hey, look around, doc. I wanna see if you look just like a girl with a bit of makeup” Jayne leers, grabbing a hold of Simon’s shoulder and turning him around, just as Inara opens the door to her shuttle.
For a minute, Jayne just holds Simon’s shoulder and stares. Zoe is looking at him too with some astonishment. Finally, Inara breaks the spell.
“What’s going on out here?”
Simon manages to tear himself loose from Jayne and turn towards her.
“Oh my” she says, now perfectly composed and not annoyed at all “what happened to you?”
“Kaylee – practice – eyeliner – help?” Simon manages to splutter out, more than a bit disconcerted with the reaction he’s getting.
“Oh, no problem, come on in” she says smiling “although might I suggest you keep it on? It looks good.” She closes the doors behind them. Outside Zoe looks at Mal, grinning. “Well, if he ever needs a disguise…” Mal snorts and starts back into the hallway he came out of.
“Hmh” Jayne grinds out, voice raspy. “Uh… I’ll be in my bunk.” He hurries down the stairs while Mal and Zoe look at each other with a grimace.
Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Molten brains, mmmmm.
P.S. I have so the perfect icon for this post! Lookee!
I was thinking about men in eyeliner. I think this thought started off somewhere in the happiness that my boyfriend sometimes wears eyeliner and is smoking hot when he does. Anyway. I was thinking about how sometimes we see celebrities do the kohl-rimmed thing - Dom Monaghan has done it, Orlando Bloom, I think and several others... and it's always ridiculously hot.
But even so, there doesn't need to be any visual evidence for it to be hot. I mean, how many stories have I read where some guy wears eyeliner and it's hot? Harry and Draco are classics, but I think I've definitely seen one with Ron and one with Percy, though I'm not sure. And you know... eyeliner+boys=hot.
Now there's a point to this.
Because after thinking about this for a bit, I started thinking about other men I'd like to see in eyeliner.
Which lead me to thinking about Simon Tam in eyeliner and damn near melting my brain.
I mean: Simon Tam = hot - Eyeliner = hot => Simon Tam + eyeliner = holy shit.
So I give you
“Please, Simon?” Kaylee is begging.
“No, Kaylee. Absolutely not.”
“Awww, Simon, come on, nobody’s going to see!”
“NO” Simon says, adamant. “Why do you want it anyway?”
“Inara gave it to me! I just want to practise so I can do it right on me!”
Simon frowns at this. “Why don’t you go practice on River?! She’s a girl! She’s more appropriate for this by default!”
“River wriggles.”
“Hunh. You tried already?”
“Yup.”
Simon sighs. “Okay. But just a bit. And you take it right off again, y’hear!”
Kaylee almost bounces with excitement. “Oh, yeah, Simon, sure thing!”
“And don’t stick that thing in my eye!” Simon says, as he reclines carefully into Kaylee’s lap, closing his eyes.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be super careful” Kaylee chirps.
Ten seconds later, she almost pokes Simon’s eye out, and it takes a bit of pleading on Kaylee’s part to get him to lie down again and sacrifice himself for the cause of helping Kaylee look good.
“I feel like a saint about to be martyred” he mumbles from Kaylee’s lap, as she sticks her tongue out and concentrates on framing his eyes in black kohl pencil.
Five minutes later, Kaylee straightens up and announces that she’s all done. Simon opens his eyes and sits up, looking a bit apprehensively in the direction of where the mirror used to be, before he remembers that River broke it a week ago.
“Right” he says “I’m not sure I want to see what I look like with makeup on anyway. Are you sure that kohl rimmed eyes are going to suit you, Kaylee?” he asks and turns around to face Kaylee who’s sitting on his bed with a funny expression on her face.
“Well” she says, sounding like she’s trying to pick her words somewhat carefully “I dunno ‘bout me, but it sure as hell looks good on you.”
“Haha, very funny, let’s all make fun of the man wearing makeup, right?” Simon replies – he’s getting better at not being easy, and he’s very proud of himself for sometimes deflecting the jokes before they have a chance of becoming embarrassing.
“No, Simon, seriously. You look good. You look so yummy I almost want to date you again.” Kaylee says that last bit so earnestly that Simon figures she must either be pulling one hell of a poker face, or she really means what she’s saying. Simon, however, doesn’t get a chance to ask her which it is, because the intercom makes an extremely loud and uncomfortable screech before Mal’s voice resounds through the ship, summoning Kaylee to the engine room pronto, and before Simon knows it, she’s gone.
Leaving him with makeup on. In his room. Shit.
He knows that there’s special soap needed to get this sort of stuff off, and wonders where in the ship he’s likely to encounter such artefacts.
Ten seconds later, after peeking cautiously out from his room to ensure his solitude, he’s making his way as fast and furtively as he can up to Inara’s shuttle. He’s just about there when Mal steps out of a corridor.
“Our good ambassador is in a snit. I advise caution, in knocking on her door” Mal says sagely, as if anybody else than he can get Inara so furious that she loses all decorum.
“Oh. Well. Thanks. This is an emergency, though.” Simon stutters out.
Mal smirks “Well, if it is an emergency…” then he peers at Simon, scrutinizing him. “Say, doctor, are you wearing kohl? Wow. Never figured you for that kind of man.”
Simon can tell that colour is rising in his cheeks and he tries to mumble something but isn’t even sure that he manages to get the word ‘Kaylee’ across.
“Hey, doc, don’t worry. Looks kinda good on you, too.” Mal says, smirking.
“What looks kind of good?” Zoe asks, coming out of the corridor behind Mal.
“Oh, nuthin. The doc is wearin’ eyeliner, ‘sall.”
Simon turns around to face Inara’s shuttle, but he can feel Zoe’s weighty gaze on his back. “Eyeliner? This I’ve got to see” says a familiar voice – the one that Simon least wanted to hear right now – from down below, and Jayne lopes up the stairs, eager to take a look at Simon’s latest embarrassment.
Simon is getting desperate. He’s knocking as politely as he can on Inara’s door, but she must think he’s Mal, come back to annoy her some more, because she’s not answering it.
“Hey, look around, doc. I wanna see if you look just like a girl with a bit of makeup” Jayne leers, grabbing a hold of Simon’s shoulder and turning him around, just as Inara opens the door to her shuttle.
For a minute, Jayne just holds Simon’s shoulder and stares. Zoe is looking at him too with some astonishment. Finally, Inara breaks the spell.
“What’s going on out here?”
Simon manages to tear himself loose from Jayne and turn towards her.
“Oh my” she says, now perfectly composed and not annoyed at all “what happened to you?”
“Kaylee – practice – eyeliner – help?” Simon manages to splutter out, more than a bit disconcerted with the reaction he’s getting.
“Oh, no problem, come on in” she says smiling “although might I suggest you keep it on? It looks good.” She closes the doors behind them. Outside Zoe looks at Mal, grinning. “Well, if he ever needs a disguise…” Mal snorts and starts back into the hallway he came out of.
“Hmh” Jayne grinds out, voice raspy. “Uh… I’ll be in my bunk.” He hurries down the stairs while Mal and Zoe look at each other with a grimace.
Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Molten brains, mmmmm.
P.S. I have so the perfect icon for this post! Lookee!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 12:04 am (UTC)There is nothing...I repeat...NOTHING hotter than a man in eyeliner. Seriously! It's mindblowingly hot!
Mooh! I want a boyfriend who wears eyeliner! You lucky little... *mutters obscenities*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 12:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 12:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 05:44 am (UTC)that fic was so cute, i really want to see sean maher in eyeliner now. i recon eyeliner is a great improvement to any face, male or female (i recon that's why the Egyptians did it lol). i mean, i've been watching an Royal Shakespeare Company DVD of MacBeth and there's a young Ian McKellen playing the lead and he has either eyeliner or mascara on and he looks frighteningly yummy 0_o
if i ruled the world, i'd make all men wear eyeliner.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 04:50 pm (UTC)Oooh, nice one, next time that one comes up in a meme.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 12:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 04:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-25 04:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 02:57 pm (UTC)